In the memory of great author and teacher Stephen Cover who has passed away this past week, I am posting a short video on his ‘3rd Alternative’ for resolving conflicts.
In dealing with conflicts we only see 2 alternatives – my side and your side, my team or your team, my country or your country, my opinion or your opinion. People tend to get stuck on these two alternatives.
The problem in solving conflicts is in how we think, we really think that there are only 2 alternatives. However, there is almost always a third alternative that is beyond and better than either of our positions.
This alternative is about synergy, about transcending the conflict, going beyond your way or my way to something new and better than either of the 2 ways, it is about creating a new reality, a fresh promise that can transform the future.
The Magical Question
Begin by approaching the person with whom you have a conflict with and sincerely ask this question:
‘Are you willing to look for a solution, that is better than either one of us has come up with?’
It allows you both to set out on a creative new road and discover the power of synergy and get to the third and better alternative.
Find the book here: The 3rd Alternative: Solving Life’s Most Difficult Problems